So, sure my 15 month old doesn't actually say those exact words but he pretty much lets me know that's exactly what he's thinking. No doubt my more experienced 'mom friends' are smiling knowingly and shaking their heads at my naivety. I just want to know what happened to my easy-going, laid-back kid? I'm not saying Colton is a terror by any stretch of the imagination (yet?) but admittedly I can be a control freak (just ask Evan) and all of a sudden my kid doesn't want to do what Mom says! Ahhh! Colton has always been a bottomless pit - the kid who would eat anything and everything. Evan and I would just laugh and shake at our heads at the 'other kids' who were thowing food on the ground and spitting out anything their parents offered. Karma right? That's my kid now. I discovered today at lunch that if I offer food to Colton he chews it up (faking me out mind you ... I'm thinking 1 for Mom, 0 for Colt) just so he can spit it out. Yum. The solution - here again smarter moms are wondering why I'm so slow ... let Colt have the control. Sure that means less in his mouth and more mess for me but at least he's eating. This mom thing has been such a learning experience for me. I think back to when Colton was still nestled inside of me, so well-behaved, and all of my grandiose plans for the little guy and the incredible mom I was going to be. I'm much less patient, creative ... to put it bluntly ... perfect than I wanted to be. But isn't that what it's all about? Looking back who knew that I could handle a colicky baby or catch Colt's throw up or patiently pick up the half eaten food all over my floor? Looking back, my patience has doubled - it's not to perfect proportions but it's growing. My creativity has grown - sure most of my ideas are stolen from more creative friends than I but you can't fault a girl for trying! So all in all, this mom thing is not at all what I imagined. I could not have barely begun to imagine how much I would love my child. There are no words to describe the feelings I have for my sweet baby. On second thoughts, I think much of what I'm learning is that he's not my baby anymore. I need to let him grow up and give the poor kid his own spoon!
4 comments:
Ah Motherhood .... I wish it got easier, don't you? Yet it's like as soon as you think you've got it figured out and you couldn't possibly learn anything else (ha) WHAM! Just gotta keep a sense of humor I guess (still working on that, and the patience thing, and the creative thing..... sigh)
Yo lady! You are a GREAT mom and the tragedy is that every great mom I've ever heard worries that she isn't good enough. Somehow kids are sturdier than we imagine and they survive our "learning" to parent. Colton has phenomenal, if imperfect, parents and he is a blessed boy. :) How boring would life be if your parents were always right?? Gotta give him someone to blame his problems on later, eh?
He looks so big and old in that picture. So true...motherhood didn't turn out as how I had pictured it before Addi was born, but it definitely has taught me a whole lot. I have relaxed so much as a person (in a good way, I hope) in general because of my children. Colton is such a cute little boy and the spitting image of Evan, but with a smidge of you in him too.
So, I guess I am reading this at the worng time, b/c now we know it wasn't just sheer independence he was longing for, it was relief from the horrible stomache bug his "girlfriend" gave him. nice. SORRY!!!!
You are a fabulous mom though, AND creative, slightly protective but whats wrong with that? YOU RULE!
There is nobody I feel safer leaving my girls with than you!
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